Rage, Fear, Sorrow, Activism: Statistics and Information

Angela Shelton/ Abuse Survey

2008-04-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Angela Shelton is a writer/ filmaker/ fabulous person who is worth checking out. Her website is www.angelashelton.com

She is also doing a survey, and there is a form on her website where you can report abuse that has happened to you (anonymously or not) for the purpose of breaking the silence and confronting under-reporting of abuse. You can find it at www.reportitnow.org.

I highly recommend reporting what has happened to you through this website, because we need accurate knowledge of the scale of this problem. There is empowerment in telling your story or reporting it, even anonymously, in whatever fashion you choose.

Child Abuse Prevention Services Website

2008-04-14T07:28:00.001-07:00

Is here:
http://childabusepreventionservices.org

I'm not sure how long their website has been up, but I haven't noticed it before.
It is super cute, and has contact information, statistics, a place to donate money through paypal, some pictures.

Here's a break down of their finances, which I found, and thought was interesting. I don't know much about what is typical of non-profits, but this seems pretty reasonable to me:

Total Income:		194,879
Total Expenses:		208,294
Amount Spent on Programs:		180,466
Percentage Spent on Programs:		86.64%
Reporting Year:		2006

A Couple Poems

2008-03-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

This one is also in the Support Zine, and it is by Audre Lorde, and it's the last 8 lines that I like the most:

A Litany For Survival

For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone
for those of us who cannot indulge
the passing dreams of choice
who love in doorways coming and going
in the hours between dawns
looking inward and outward
at once before and after
seeking a now that can breed
futures
like bread in our children's mouths
so their dreams will not reflect
the death of ours:

For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with out mother's milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive.

And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain
when the sun sets we are afraid
It might not rise in the morning
when our stomachs are full we are afraid
of indigestion
when our stomachs are empty we are afraid
we may never eat again
when we are loved we are afraid
love will vanish
when we are alone we are afraid
love will never return
and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid

So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive
-Audre Lorde, The Black Unicorn

And here is a poem by Anne Sexton submitted to the email address. It is not a personal story, so we're reprinting it here, as a resource:

Red Roses
by Anne Sexton

Tommy is three and when he's bad
his mother dances with him.
She puts on the record,
"Red Roses for a Blue Lady"
and throws him across the room.
Mind you,
she never laid a hand on him,
only the wall laid a hand on him.
He gets red roses in different places,
the head, that time he was as sleepy as a river,
the back, that time he was a broken scarecrow,
the arm like a diamond had bitten it,
the leg, twisted like licorice stick,
all the dance they did together,
Blue Lady and Tommy.
You fell, she said, just remember you fell.
I fell, is all he told the doctors
in the big hospital. A nice lady came
and asked him questions but because
he didn't want to be sent away he said, I fell.
He never said anything else although he could talk fine.
He never told about the music
or how she'd sing and shout
holding him up and throwing him.
He pretends he is her ball.
He tries to fold up and bounce
but he squashes like fruit.
For he loves Blue Lady and the spots
of red red roses he gives her.

Good Shit We Have Recently Discovered

2008-03-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

The book "Leaving the Saints" by Martha Beck is really freaking good. It manages to combine a tasteful, realistic description of one woman's trauma, and lots of information about Mormons that will make you think they are crazy, while still remaining entertaining and funny. Check it out.

Also the movie "Deliver Us From Evil" is a creepy creepy ass ass creepy ass movie about sexual abuse within the Catholic church, with extensive interviews with one priest and abuser who is currently living in church housing scot-free in Ireland. This one is excellent, but quite the downer.

Approach both with care if you get triggered.

Asheville Resources

2008-02-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

These are only the ones I know, feel free to submit more.

One local non-profit is Child Abuse Prevention Services.
In the words of the Mountain Xpress, "Child Abuse Prevention Services, Inc. is a local nonprofit that works to prevent child abuse, strengthen families and assist children who have experienced abuse." They offer some free counseling, I think maybe through the United Way (??) to children who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, and to some adults who experienced childhood sexual abuse. The contact info from the mountain xpress is 828-254-2000 or childadvocacy@buncombe.main.nc.us.

Another resource is Our Voice, whose website is http://www.ourvoicenc.org/
In their own words, "Our VOICE, Inc., formerly the Rape Crisis Center, is a non-profit crisis intervention agency which serves all victims of sexual violence in Buncombe County." Also, "Our VOICE offers individual counseling sessions for all people who have experienced the trauma of sexual violence, including those persons indirectly affected, such as family and friends." You can contact them at (828) 252-0562

Our Voice also has a 24-Hour Crisis Line: (828)-255-7576

If neither of these work, you could also always try Helpmate, whose website is http://www.helpmateonline.org/, and who describes themselves as "a domestic violence agency working with our community to eliminate abuse and fear"

As far as other websites, we love

ex-Ashevillian Cindy Crabb's website at www.dorisdorisdoris.com (she writes a lot about abuse and consent), and her resource list here.

and also

Generation Five, a group based out of San Francisco who has the goal of ending child sexual abuse in 5 generations.

In paper, the Support zine also put out by Cindy Crabb is an excellent resources for anyone dealing with sexual abuse as well as everyone around them. It is available in English or Spanish, and you can buy it from Downtown Books and News or order it from her directly through her website.

Also, the book The Courage to Heal is basically the first bible for survivors. There is also the shorter version "Beginning to Heal."

Please Please Please add your own resources to this list, as it is in no way comprehensive, and certainly not long enough.

Statistics Worth Considering

2008-02-21T05:43:00.000-08:00

One rape happens every 3 hrs 52 min. in NC

Atleast 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before age 18

Less than 1 in 3 rapes are reported

Atleast 90% of developmentally disabled people are sexually abused

44% of rape victims are under 18

30% of child sexual abuse perpetrators are parents